Writer Extraordinaire

Here to write & would love you to read my thoughts. Share them, embrace them, even learn from there. I just am here to do something I love...WRITE (and post a few pictures/thoughts from Instagram). Oh, & by the way, #YBW.

My Labor day chill pose. Yeah I’m still not smiling. On a mission. No denial from me.

My Labor day chill pose. Yeah I’m still not smiling. On a mission. No denial from me.

Reading #OurDailyBread will be causing me to take my writing to the next level. #cheatCode #exposed #ybw

Reading #OurDailyBread will be causing me to take my writing to the next level. #cheatCode #exposed #ybw

@textgramofficial #morningthought #textgram are you causing yourself not to grow & progress by looking back & thinking negative of what was? Well you should be pushing to keep moving forward. Our changes come when we allow it head our way.

@textgramofficial #morningthought #textgram are you causing yourself not to grow & progress by looking back & thinking negative of what was? Well you should be pushing to keep moving forward. Our changes come when we allow it head our way.

Share one with myself. No fun in that. Haven’t gone to physically buy one.

Share one with myself. No fun in that. Haven’t gone to physically buy one.

#repostPro @djfoolishva this made my night

Good Grief

​​
Well since I’m old enough to claim that I’m a fan of the infamous “Charlie
Brown” & one of his most famous phrases is “Good Grief”, it’s the perfect
title for this blog. In this form of writing, your mind will be opened by
the infamous theory of a part of life that people are scared to encounter:
grieving. Now, before I talk about this, I would like to make it clear that
grieving does not solely apply to losing someone close to you. Grieving as
a whole relates to handling or facing an issue or situation & not running
away from it like it doesn’t even exist. For some reason, this is a mistake
that people make day in & day out. You start to wonder why do people do
this. I know for me, I don’t have an answer to save my soul. One of the
first forms of grieving is the loss of a loved one. You sometimes forget
how key a person is in our lives until we’re without them. Thinking back on
my own personal story, I didn’t allow myself the opportunity to grieve &
handle the passing of my sister Lora. Most of my
​​
friends who know about the situation know that I really didn’t know much
about her sto
​​
ry. When I received the news that she had passed, I didn’t wanna face it
whatsoever. I attended the funeral & was very quiet. I remember it clearly
because I had just started working security and the day of the funeral, I
had gotten off from work that morning at 8am & came home, took a shower,
got dressed, attended the funeral & be as supportive for the family. The
truth was that I needed support myself. I didn’t want to face the situation
head on at all. I didn’t talk to anyone about it for a while. It took me
over 5 years and attending a domestic violence event in October of 2012 to
find out in full detail how she passed. The event was supposed to be the
first time for me talking openly about the situation as a whole. As stated,
even with the opportunity, I still didn’t fully have the words of how to
talk about it, because I didn’t know how hard it would be. Once my sister
shared information about her cause of death, along with stories in the
newspaper, it caused me to slowly realize that I need to talk about her
story in the good, & awaken people to the things that a lot of victims may
be scared to speak about. As mentioned earlier, grieving doesn’t solely
refer to losing someone in your life as a cause of death. It can also occur
when going in and out of relationships. Some people do this and don’t even
realize it. They will get in a relationship with someone, see it end, &
before they can just enjoy and embrace being single, they’re out there
giving their heart and their all to someone when their heart hasn’t had
time to heal from what has happened in the past few months, weeks, or even
years. I’m gonna share a personal story that very few people know about,
but I wanted to offer things from my perspective. The reason I’m stating
this is because over the last few months, I have had time to think about a
lot. One thing that I thought about is that I did something I’ve NEVER done
in my entire life. I dated 4 different women within a 10 month span. I
didn’t date them simultaneously, but once one situation ended, I didn’t
take time to focus on Bryan & realize that I need to not be in such a rush
to meet someone. In some instances, though, I “thought” I was ready. After
what I recently went through (which I personally won’t get into unless
you’ve received and understand my “Tetris” theme I had on Facebook,
Instagram, & Twitter), I saw that I did it all wrong. Most importantly, I
realized that I am gonna be grieving as well as just enjoying being the
original Bryan that most of my friends have either seen, or are wondering
where he’s been hiding. Nonetheless, I don’t point the finger at others
about what I did or who I chose & how it all came together. One thing I
wanna speak on about this is that once one relationship (or what I thought
was a relationship) would end, I would sit and chill for a few weeks & meet
someone else by just hanging out or talking or whatever, & because of that,
I didn’t grieve and get over what I went through. I was acting like I was
just gonna put under a rug & hope that it goes away. Obviously, that wasn’t
the smartest approach. The key element, however, was that it was safe.
Sometimes, safe isn’t always as safe as we think it is.

My primary intentions of writing this blog is to state that grieving for
everyone is different. However, if you’re not grieving at all or
acknowledging what’s going on, then what’s ahead might not be something
that you’re even willing or prepared to face. When it comes to losing
someone in your family, if you don’t sit and obtain some form of hugging,
crying, talking, or something about the situation, then it won’t make you
confront that it happened in the first place. As far as dating goes, PLEASE
(and I’m writing that in all caps because I’ve screwed up in this & someone
thinks I’m gonna break my trend (which is unlikely) of hooking up or going
out to “get to know” someone when I don’t fully know myself) don’t jump out
there & date or mingle with someone if you’re mentally, emotionally,
physically or properly ready for what comes with that possible territory of
connecting with someone. Going back to death of loved ones (just realized
that family & friends fall into that category), don’t sit and hide when
someone close to you leaves you. Dealing with it is hard, but not talking
about or confronting it is even harder. Sometimes, we don’t have someone to
talk to about our problems. Carry it to a higher source (not gonna go there
as usual) and speak about it. Being a coca cola bottle waiting to explode
is the worst feeling in the world, because shaking up those feelings inside
will cause you to become an emotional wreck. The wreck obviously is what
carries over to the wreckage of making a decision and not handling the
choices you make when calling yourself to move forward when thinking love
is involved. I won’t say it’s overrated & that someone of the opposite sex
isn’t loyal (tried to find a way to blend that in there, & I did lol), but
what I will say is that you have to take time to know your worth and don’t
allow your value to decrease dealing with someone who may not even be able
to deal with themselves. That’s a mistake I’ve seen and made time and time
again.

In closing, I will say this…grieve wisely. However, be sure that you
don’t take the option of not grieving at all, because if you try to act
like a situation is gonna go away, the worst part is that it will creep up
when least expected. Friends, family, counseling, prayer, are all options
of how to handle the issue as a whole. There are probably others, but these
are the first ones that I can think of right away. Just don’t sit there &
act like what’s going on isn’t going on. It isn’t healthy by a long shot.
As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. For
the first time in a while, I will FINALLY be going back & reading the blog
and making sure that it’s edited (thanks Tashara for getting on my case
about that). You all take care & remember,
​being positive
goes a long way. Negativity will tune itself out with a pair of earphones.
I’m Audi. (yeah still working on a closing as you can tell).
​​

The #blues of #chelsea in their yellow alternate jerseys playing against Everton. And in literally 34 seconds Diego Costa scores the opening goal. 1-0 #goal #futbol #goalaso

The #blues of #chelsea in their yellow alternate jerseys playing against Everton. And in literally 34 seconds Diego Costa scores the opening goal. 1-0 #goal #futbol #goalaso

In order to be in charge of others, you have to be in charge of yourself & lead yourself on the right path. .
Made with @instaquoteapp #instaquote #morningthought thankful to see another day & prepared to make something of it only as I know how. Be an influence & not a burden today. Peace

In order to be in charge of others, you have to be in charge of yourself & lead yourself on the right path. .
Made with @instaquoteapp #instaquote #morningthought thankful to see another day & prepared to make something of it only as I know how. Be an influence & not a burden today. Peace

#InstaVideo nights I can’t sleep, musical moments like this happen

#repostWhiz #keepPounding @panthers Oh you already know I’m taking this moment & running with it. Tampa Bay, we’re ready for you on the 7th best believe.

#repostWhiz #keepPounding @panthers Oh you already know I’m taking this moment & running with it. Tampa Bay, we’re ready for you on the 7th best believe.

Age Ain’t Nothin’ But a Number

The best thing about working on a blog is that you’re not as forced to
write as others make it seem. I have a hunch that this topic is one that
I’ve probably written before, but sometimes when you personally go through
certain things, it causes you sit down & think differently about
everything. Of course, I’m writing this blog near the same time of
Aaliyah’s passing. It’s only fitting that I use one of her hit singles as a
title for this blog. Anyways, one thing that we have a tendency to oversee
is how the numerical value of a person’s age only means as much as the
person who claims the numerical value. Looking back over the past few years
(turning 30, 31, & soon turning 32), I realize that some big moments aren’t
as big if you’re not prepared for what’s to possibly come with the turning
of the age. Responsibilities come with points in life such as turning 18 or
turning 21. Also, these responsibilities come within the United States. In
other countries, traditions and cultures vary, which means that a person in
the US being excited about turning 21 & being able to “legally” drink
compared to being in another country and drinking at the age of 16 or 17
confirms how the number of a person’s age is just that…a number. It’s not
the number of the person’s age, but mostly the way they handle and carry
themselves when turning a certain age. The blog following this (entitled
Good Grief) goes into how we all have a tough time dealing with issues. I’m
teasing information from that blog because this current blog will honestly
break down something that I faced that was a slight dosage of reality. When
I turned 30, I knew it was a monumental moment, & treated as such. However,
at the age of 30, I felt like there were these things I “had” to do, which
I really didn’t even need to do. If you wanna be technical, I haven’t added
anymore ink on my person since turning 31. I got my blank scribe the day
before turning 31. I’m highly aware that this has absolutely nothing to do
with the age of my person. What it does have to do with however is that the
decisions I was making seemed right in some aspects and just totally wrong
in others. For example, I did a lot of rushing and jumping and didn’t take
time to think back to things that worked all along in the first place. This
topic itself solely broke down to how there are parents who have their kids
handling tasks in their homes at ages that is meant for an adult to handle.
In a sense, it’s almost like making a young child practically become the
man of the house. He doesn’t know how to do that. When he does become old
enough to be an adult, he’s prepared, but it’s gonna have him causing
himself to miss out on the things a child would normally enjoy at the age &
stage of childhood. Take me for example, I won’t say I’m going through a
midlife crisis with my addiction for things like playing basketball or
video games, because those are just passions that have always been engraved
in me. I think the flaw that comes into play is how I practically caused
myself to take a break from the things that I enjoyed that were always a
part of me no matter how you look at it. A while back, I remember there
being this theory or logical thought that women mature faster than men. You
have some immature females who don’t wanna let go of certain things or
certain people. Obviously, the same would apply to men, but the infamous
“man vs. woman” debacle will never end. The perfect example of this whole
conversation that I’m trying to break down is Michael Jackson. When he was
younger & Joe had him practicing to become a star, he was practicing so
hard that he didn’t have a clue what being a child was. In doing this, when
he finally became an adult and didn’t have to go as far with having to
create music because of his knack, it caused him to wanna go back & do
things like a kid. It was like giving a child some change & saying go to
the store. Instead, Michael went to the store and knew his royalties,
shows, tours, etc. would cover his expenses when he went out. There are
those people out here who have to work to earn their keep while you have
people who don’t even have to lift a finger to get anything accomplished.

I sit here writing & typing & realizing that this is the first blog of many
since going through what I told most people was my “transition”, & the
truth was that it was. I obviously don’t sit around looking for pity or
sorrow. I just want it to be clear that I didn’t wake up & make the choice
that I made to put myself where I was. I did things super backwards. I
think my next blog that I write will clear up where I’m coming from about
this.

I’ll speak one more piece about the age factor, & then I’m politely placing
the mic back on the stand (not ready to drop mics yet, though I dropped my
first one earlier today). Earlier, I mentioned that some women have the
mindset that they mature faster than men. One thing that I find amazing is
that I’ve been known to hear more women worry about getting older than men.
What’s even worse is that the women who have this mindset or POV are
practically young. On the same token, though, everyone has their own
definition of what’s considered young & when there are these hills and
mountains that we climb or overcome when a page or chapter of our lives are
written. I’ll use this ending and blog to share that I’ve got some
writing’s in the works. I’ve been leaking secrets to a few people. Some
folks I’ve shared with knowing that it won’t get far, which is just how I
like it. Just remember that you can have two people act the same age & it
not be their actual numerical value. The perfect instance of this is when a
12 or 13 year old tries to think they’re in their 20’s trying to do things
rushing and pushing their life to move along faster, but then don’t want
the responsibilities that comes w/ that particular age. Because of this, it
causes them to miss out on enjoying what 13 year old’s do at their age.
Just take time, don’t rush living, & don’t rush living thinking that
there’s something worth being older for. Men & women, regardless if you’re
27 or 37, you’re only as old as you think you are, because at the end of
the day, that numerical value is still…just a number. Age ain’t nothing
but a number. Throwing down ain’t nothing but a thing. This loving I have
for you. It’ll never change. R.I.P. Aaliyah. This is Bryan signing out.

#repostWhiz @beyondbellagrace this is so wrong, but so true. The social madness is real.

#repostWhiz @beyondbellagrace this is so wrong, but so true. The social madness is real.

#morningthought #tweegram it’s safe to say that I rushed this post. The main point is that we as people have a tendency to speak things into existence, but we forget that you have to think of the positive or even negative things. Don’t talk negative about things, because it just might happen.

#morningthought #tweegram it’s safe to say that I rushed this post. The main point is that we as people have a tendency to speak things into existence, but we forget that you have to think of the positive or even negative things. Don’t talk negative about things, because it just might happen.

Think I wanted to post this picture the other day, but I didn’t. Taken before I went to church. Not stopping the thing I did before my madness.

Think I wanted to post this picture the other day, but I didn’t. Taken before I went to church. Not stopping the thing I did before my madness.

I’m glad that I’m a part of the gaming group that I’m involved with. I think I’ll be using this template to get my possible shirts, because this relates to me on so many levels along with my gaming friends, nerds and the whole nine. Enjoy your Thursday folks. Oh & remember, a cheat code was implemented based on today (those who know are aware of what I mean). Seize the day people.

I’m glad that I’m a part of the gaming group that I’m involved with. I think I’ll be using this template to get my possible shirts, because this relates to me on so many levels along with my gaming friends, nerds and the whole nine. Enjoy your Thursday folks. Oh & remember, a cheat code was implemented based on today (those who know are aware of what I mean). Seize the day people.